The Nigerian mob and Økokrim

The notorious Nigerian mafia has a "clever" way of embezzling money from people: Appealing to their greed. One Norwegian sucker who fell in their trap a few years ago, went to South Africa to get his money back and was murdered there.

Personally, I first received their "business proposal" by snail mail on behalf of the magazine Gateavisa back in 1994. Since then, I've been getting several proposals via e-mail on behalf of my .com domain. Each time I have responded with a copy to Økokrim, the economic crime division of the Norwegian police. And what do they do about it? Well, the most brilliant suggestion they've come up with is to make it illegal to be victimized, and then punish the victims. Brilliant.

Here is my recent response to their latest proposal, with a copy to Økokrim as usual:

To: nkono lucas <[email protected]>
From: Tarjei Straume <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL.
Cc: [email protected]
Bcc:
X-Attachments:

Dear Lucas Nkono,

Thank you for the honor of being included on your suckers' list. You wrote (below):

Contact me with the above telephone number and mailto:[email protected] while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in this transaction.

No problem, pal. But just to be on the safe side, in case you're a crook or something, I'm sending a copy of this correspondence to Økokrim, which is the economic crime unit of the Norwegian police. Nothing to worry about; the police are quite trustworthy with regard to confidential matters, with their vow of silence and all that. And if you are indeed a crook nevertheless, I wouldn't worry about getting busted because of Økokrim or any other branch of the Norwegian police. In the first place, they are much more interested in what I smoke in my pipe than in how you get your hands on people's money, or even in whether or not you kill people for that matter. The odds are that they'll disregard this message entirely, like they do with all my messages. Secondly, I can tell you from first hand empirical experience that the Norwegian police are cyber-illiterates. They must ask FBI for help in order to look up a public domain registration, for instance. They've proven themselves to be incompetent idiots who can't tie their own shoes. You and your obviously illicit business are safe.

(If they had any brains, they'd contact Scotland Yard because of your .uk email address, but their skulls are hollow. That's why they crack people in their heads with clubs, because they're jealous of people possessing grey cells.)

So be slick, stay out of jail, get filthy rich, and don't kill anybody. Best of luck to you.

Cheers,

Tarjei
http://uncletaz.com/

Your complete message read as follows:

FROM:LUCAS.NKONO
NETHERLANDS+0031-613-476-359

CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me, since you do not know me personally."My Name is Lucas Nkono "The purpose of my introduction is that" Before the death of my father, he had taken me to Johannesburg to deposit the sum of US8.5 million (Eight million, Five Hundred thousand United States dollars),in one of the private security company, as he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe this money was deposited in a box as gem stones to avoid much demurrage from security company. This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the Farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland.

This land problem came when Zimbabwean President Mr.Robert Mugabe introduced a new Land Act Reform wholly affecting the rich white farmers and some few black farmers, and this resulted to the killing and mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some lunatics in the society. In fact a lot of people were killed because of this Land reform Act for which my father"Nkono Ndlovu"was one of the victims.

It is against this background that, I and my family fled Zimbabwe for fear of our lives and I currently staying in the Netherlands where my family are seeking political asylum and moreso I have decided to transfer my father,s money to a more reliable foreign account. As the eldest son of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got. The South African government seems to be playing along with them. I am faced with the dilemma of moving this amount of money out of South Africa for fear of going through the same experience in future, both countries have similar political history. As a businessman,I am seeking for a partner who I have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is risk free. If you accept to assist me and my family, all I want you to do for me,is to make an arrangements with the security company to clear the consignment(funds) from their afiliate office here in the Netherlands as i have already given directives for the consignment to be brought to the Netherlands from South Africa.But before then all modalities will have to be put in place like change of ownership to the consignment and more importantly this money I intend to use for investment.

I have two options for you. Firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Or you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country. Whichever the option you want, feel free to notify me. If you do not prefer a partnership I am willing to give you 20% of the money while the remaining 80% will be for my investment in your country. Contact me with the above telephone number and mailto:[email protected] while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in this transaction.

Thanks, GOD BLESS YOU

Yours Faithfully,
Lucas Nkono.

I received two more mails shortly after this one, and gave a similar response to the first. At the third mail in a row, all with slightly different names and content, I began to lose my patience. Both of these responses, with copies to Økokrim as usual, are given below. Because Økokrim has suggested that the victims be punished (because they're too dumb to do anything about the culprits), I guess I'll be prosecuted soon for receiving these mails.

To: [email protected]
From: Tarjei Straume <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: confidential business proposal
Cc: [email protected]
Bcc:
X-Attachments:

Dear Sandra Savimbi,

Thank you for the honor of being included on your suckers' list. But just to be on the safe side, in case you're a crook or something, I'm sending a copy of this correspondence to Økokrim, which is the economic crime unit of the Norwegian police. Nothing to worry about; the police are quite trustworthy with regard to confidential matters, with their vow of silence and all that. And if you are indeed a crook nevertheless, I wouldn't worry about getting busted because of Økokrim or any other branch of the Norwegian police. In the first place, they are much more interested in what I smoke in my pipe than in how you get your hands on people's money, or even in whether or not you kill people for that matter. The odds are that they'll disregard this message entirely, like *they do with all my messages. Secondly, I can tell you from first hand empirical experience that the Norwegian police are cyber-illiterates. They must ask FBI for help in order to look up a public domain registration, for instance. They've proven themselves to be incompetent idiots who can't tie their own shoes. You and your obviously illicit business are safe.

So be slick, stay out of jail, get filthy rich, and don't kill anybody. Best of luck to you.

Cheers,

Tarjei
http://uncletaz.com/

Your message in full:

ATTN:
This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. The message could be strange but reel if you pay some attention to it. I could have notified you about it at least for the sake of your integrity. Please accept my sincere apologies. In bringing this message of goodwill to you, I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any pains.

I am Ms. Sandra savimbi, daughter of the late rebel leader Jonas savimbi of Angola who was killed on the 22nd of febuary 2002 . I managed to get your contact details through "The World Business Journal", a journal of the Johannesburg Chamber of Commerce in South Africa in the time I was desperately looking for a trustworthy person to assist me in this confidential business.

my late father, Jonas savimbi was able to deposit a large sum of money in differnt banks in europe My father is presently death and the movement of his family members (including me) is restricted. We are forbidden to either travel abroad or out of our localities. Presently, the US$8,500,000.00 EIGHT, MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS my father transfered to Netherlands is safe and is in a security firm. Before you can get access to it i have to give you the password I am therefore soliciting your help to have this money transfered into your account. before my government get wind of this fund .You know my father was a rebel leader in Angola before his death My reason for doing this is because it will be difficult for the Angolan government to trace my father's money to an individual's account, especially when such an individual has no relationship ,I decided to keep that money for my family use. At present the money is kept in a Security Company in nertherland.

I am currently and temporarily living in Angola with my husband my brother has a refugee status'in The Netherlands. Moreover the political climate in Angola at the moment being so sensitive and unstable.With this password and information I will send to you, and power of attorney to the security firm, When you are ready i will give you the information needed before you can get access to the fund you will then proceed to Netherlands where the US$8,500,000.00 EIGHT, MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS will be given to you as payment. Alternatively, you can have the fund transferred into any account that suits you.

Yours sincerely,
Sandra Savimbi.

To: [email protected]
From: Tarjei Straume <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Kindly Get Back To Me Please
Cc: [email protected]
Bcc:
X-Attachments:

Hey "ABDUL MOMOH" or whatever you call yourself, asshole!

Stop bugging me with this shit. Remove my email from your list. All your mails are forwarded to the police, but they're only suggesting to punish your victims, so you have nothing to worry about. But remopve my electronic address(es) from your list(s) before I get pissed and start giving you a hard time. The cops don't know how, but I do.

This is a warning.

Tarjei
http://uncletaz.com/

Your message in full:

ATT:
CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me, since you do not know me personally. I am ABDUL MOMOH, the first son of NDIATA MOMOH, the most popular black farmer in Zimbabwe. He was recently murdered in the land dispute in my country. I got your contact through network online hence decided to write you.

Before the death of my father, he had taken me to Johannesburg to deposit the sum of US8.5 million (Eight million, Five Hundred United States dollars), in one of the private security company, as he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe. This money was deposited in a box as gemstones to avoid much demurrage from Security Company. This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland.

This land problem came when Zimbabwean President Mr. Robert Mugabe introduced a new land Act Reform wholly affecting the rich white farmers and some few black farmers, and this resulted to the killing and mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some lunatics in the society. In fact a lot of people were killed because of this Land reform Act for which my father was one of the victims.

It is against this background that, my family and I fled Zimbabwe for fear of our lives and are currently staying in the Netherlands where we are seeking political asylum and more so, have decided to transfer my fathers money to a more reliable foreign account. Since the law of Netherlands prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to have such amount of money in any bank account or to be involved in any financial
transaction of such magnitude throughout the territorial zone of Netherlands.

As the eldest son of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got. The South African government seems to be playing along with them. I am faced with the dilemma of moving this amount of money out of South Africa for fear of going through the same experience in future, both countries have similar political history.

As a businessman, I am seeking for a partner, who I have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands. I must let you know that this transaction is risk free. If you accept to assist my family, and me all I want you to do for me, is to make an arrangement with the security company to clear the consignment (funds) from their affiliate office here in the Netherlands. I have already given directives for the consignment to be brought from South Africa to The Netherlands. But before then all modalities will have to be put in place like change of ownership of the consignment and more importantly this money I intend to use for investment.

I have two options for you. Firstly I can give you certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Or you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment in your country. Whichever option you want, feel free to notify me. I have also mapped out 5% of this money for all kinds of expenses incurred in the process of this transaction. Contact me with the above telephone/fax numbers or E-mail while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in this transaction.

Thanks, GOD BLESS YOU

Yours Faithfully,
Abdul Momoh.

Finally, I receive a mail from these people that I have not responded to, because it looks like my responses only prompt more of those silly mails. The funny thing is, however that this time they include an attached Word document with a bunch of email addresses. Check this out:

Delivered-To: [email protected]
From: "bram khumalo" <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 19 Apr 2002 17:12:04 +0200
Subject: Kindly Get Back To Me Please 19/04/02 17:12:04

Dear Friend,

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. The message could be strange but reel if you pay some attention to it. I could have notified you about it at least for the sake of your integrity. Please accept my sincere apologies. In bringing this message of goodwill to you, I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any pains.

I am Mr Bram Khumalo,son of the late rebel leader Maubane Khumalo of Angola who was killed on the 22nd of febuary 2002 . I managed to get your contact details through "The World Business Journal", a journal of the Johannesburg Chamber of Commerce in South Africa in the time I was desperately looking for a trustworthy person to assist me in this confidential business. my late father, Maubane Khumalo was able to deposit a large sum of money in differnt banks in europe My father is presently death and the movement of his family members (including me) is restricted. We are forbidden to either travel abroad or out of our localities. Presently, the US$8,500,000.00 EIGHT, MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS my father transfered to Netherlands is safe and is in a security firm. Before you can get access to it i have to give you the password I am therefore soliciting your help to have this money transfered into your account. before my government get wind of this fund .You know my father was a rebel leader in Angola before his death My reason for doing this is because it will be difficult for the Angolan government to trace my father's money to an individual's account, especially when such an individual has no relationship ,I decided to keep that money for my family use. At present the money is kept in a Security Company in nertherland.

I am currently and temporarily living in Angola with my husband my brother has a refugee status, Moreover the political climate in Angola at the moment being so sensitive and unstable.With this password and information I will send to you, and power of attorney to the security firm, When you are ready i will give you the information needed before you can get access to the fund you will then proceed to Netherlands where the US$8,500,000.00 EIGHT, MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS will be given to you as payment. Alternatively, you can have the fund transferred into any account that suits you. Kindly get back to me through my email address,with all your coatacts addresses and send me your name as appear in your passport, and your Telephone and fax number.

Waiting to hear from you,
God bless you.
Yours sincerely,
Bram Khumalo.

Attachment converted: Tazmac:mie.doc (WDBN/MSWD) (001B783C)

And the attachment says:

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